The Impossible Dream- Part 1

I've felt for some time, that I need a concise way of explaining to others what it is that I "do" and what I feel passionately about. I'm kind of a "marriage and society nut" and spend a lot of my time thinking and talking about the influence of culture on our relationships. I often meet people that resonate with the ideas or beliefs I express, but can't quite understand what exactly one would "do" about those ideas, let alone how one could make the pursuit of ideas a full-time endeavor.

First, for those of you who browse blogs for leisurely entertainment, I apologize in advance for the agitation I will cause you with this series of posts. But I will try to make this as painless as possible, while providing basic understanding for the moderately curious. And promise more brief and entertaining posts in the future. Maybe.

As a primer, I'm in business school now, gleaning some non-profit management skills in a more formal way than the flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants method I've been using the last couple of years. As a result, every day I meet someone who wants to hear my elevator pitch. What are you doing, why are you here, and where are you going in 30 seconds or less. That's what we do in business. We build the corporation of me, and market ourselves to others in quick and easy soundbites. We use easily understandable buzz words, power phrases, and articulate a simple professional action plan while evaluating what we want from them or they want from us. And then, we get the job.

Well, I think I'm sort of a loose bolt in the cogs of that business machine and generally an agitation to everyone. But I'm still giving a good faith effort at conformity and one day dream to have a neatly polished pitch that will return smiles, understanding, and beaming pride from family and friends. Unfortunately, I think I'd have more of a chance at that working for McDonald's than doing social entrepreneurial, non-profit advocacy. But for the sake of the sanity of my family, friends, and those who have a vested interest in knowing what exactly I'm doing with my life, and making sure I'm not a vagrant and menace to society, I want to take a shot at articulating what it is that I (and those who associate with me and my activities) stand for, and what we do about it.


My professional purpose is to help create and strengthen a national marriage-culture in our society. This is accomplished through 1) educating others about the public goods of lifelong, companionate, heterosexual marriage in society, 2) articulating a case for marriage in the public square and 3) facilitating the desire of others to more effectively engage others in the public square on these issues.

Before I go any further, it is important to note here that I am not on an "anti-gay crusade". I cannot express how much I despise that kind of association, especially because I have so many close friends and loved ones who identify as gay, whom I love and respect their inherent human dignity and real, lived experience. I do not agree that their lifestyle is optimal for society, but believing in lifelong, heterosexual, companionate marriage does not mean that I am either hateful or denigrating toward homosexuals. These are two separate spheres. I know very little about gender identity issues, and have no professional experience or grounding on which to speak about the nature of same-sex attraction. I do have education and experience in studying social trends and social issues surrounding marriage. And I do know that the institution of marriage itself deserves further examination long before we start having conversations about why marriage doesn't include two individuals of the same gender.

For me the study of the institution of marriage in our society and gay rights are two totally distinct issues. The fact that they are now intertwined reflects the lack of understanding about what a "social institution" is in the first place. I seek to understand, educate, and advocate about the institution of marriage in society as a naturally-occurring and pre-political institution. Not make the case for why homosexuals don't deserve to be loved or why gays are evil. I will leave such serious dialogues and moral judgments about homosexuality to those who are better qualified in such issues (and I submit that that is not very many people on earth who have the qualifications to make such sweeping statements).

I stand for something, not against it. We strengthen and maintain marriage as the fundamental foundation for society, not destroy and denigrate gays. This is a supportive and building endeavor, and I refuse to allow current cultural debates and assumptions to dictate that it must be a defensive and destructive tirade.


Next:
How it all began....to be continued.